SOTW #4

I am absolutely digging this guy right now. His name is Phil Wickham. He's a local San Diegan that's making good. The first time that I heard this song I was struck by how much he sounded like one of my favorite secular artists, Ryan Adams. I guess it's not as big a surprise as you would think. I was checking out his myspace page and he lists Ryan as one of his influences. Along with Jesus and his parents, so that's some pretty good company. I really love how this song is put together. He talks about it a little in the beginning of the first video.

Yes, the first video. There were two really good ones that I found and I couldn't choose so I'm leaving them both here for your perusal. The first one is him live and acoustic. A really pretty version of it.





The second is actually a video that was made by my church, Journey. Actually, the guy who made is Dan Stevers. he's done some really amazing work at our church of which this video is only one small example. Check out his other stuff here. It was made for our Easter service. I'm still trying to figure how I missed that. Where was I on Easter? I couldn't tell ya.



True Love

by Phil Wickham

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Oh, He is alive
He rose again

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Come close listen to the story

Does this guy rock or what?

Tito, get me a tissue.

I've seen this video quite a few times now and every time it never fails to make me cry. I don't know if it's because the message is so personally powerful to me or it's just a powerful message period. It might be a good idea to have something to wipe your eyes with after this. I know I needed it.



I found it again on Dustin's blog. He's got something good going on up in Alaska. You should check him out.

Bonus SOTW!!!!

OK, I'm not sure how many of you have seen this video but it might be my most favorite Christian Rock song and video of all time! It's definitely been making the rounds.

The Band:

Sonseed

The Song:

Jesus Is a Friend of Mine





So, I love this video and song. It makes me happy. What do I find out today over at some unknown guy named David Crowder (He must have a real ego problem to name his band after himself). That's right, he ripped off Sonseed! Check it out:




As a musician I'm shocked and appalled when I see unknown bands stealing songs from giants of the music industry. Just like Kid Rock ripping off Lynrd Skynrd. Unbelievable.

Does this blatant attempt at song stealing offend you?

Wednesday Words Vol. #4

Thanks for all the birthday wishes from everyone. It turned out to be a wonderful day. I got off from work and headed home thinking it was just going to be a normal day. My wonderful wife had other ideas, however.

Letty surprised me by taking the day off from work. When I got home I thought she was headed out as per usual. No way man. She had plans. Off to Viejas for a little breakfast action. I had the bacon and eggs special while she had their breakfast burrito. Both were delicious.

After breakfast I got my entry into the morning no limit poker tournament. We had about a half hour wait before the tournament started so we lost some money playing Monopoly Slots. The tournament started and I just got there in time to see the first hand. I ended up taking the first pot down, that was the last one I would win.

I was treading water for the first couple of levels. We colored up and then I ran into this hand. I made a couple of mistakes I think. The guy that was under the gun two to my left raises. A guy in mid position raises himself all in. I wake up to 10-10. Mistake #1 not raising all in after him. I thought that the guy behind me would have been put all in by me just calling instead of raising. Anyway, he called which left him with about $1,000 behind. I had him out stacked by a couple of grand. The flop comes A-J-x. Rainbow. UTG guy checks and I check behind him. On the turn a brick. He checks and here comes Mistake #2. I check. I should have pressured him out of the pot, put him all in. I didn't and it would cost me. The river is a harmless-looking 8. He suddenly pushes his last $1,000 in. I call and he shows pocket 8's for the set. Ugh. The 1st all in guy mucked his hand. I'm down to about $1,500 in chips. The very next hand I'm dealt A-J. I push all in and say "steam raise," hoping that someone will give me some action. The same guy that had just rivered the set calls immediately. He tables A-4. What happens? He hits the 4 on the flop, I don't improve and take the staircase of shame from the poker room.

Fortunately for me, my beautiful wife is still in the casino so I'm not alone. I meet her over in the bingo hall and we play a session of bingo. Letty came close once or twice but no luck. We got the heck out of there after the bingo. That was enough losing for us for the day. All in all we had a good time and my wife was an awesome good sport about hanging at the casino with me. It's definitely not her thing although she does enjoy the bingo.

That was about it for the day. By the time we got home I was tired. I needed to go to sleep. I played some online poker for a while, then finally dragged my ass to bed. It turned out to be a great day and the best part of the whole thing was that I got to spend it with my love. It doesn't get any better than that.

SOTW #3

OK, even though it might seem like it, I'm not in love with Brooke Fraser. Maybe her voice. Definitely her words. I promise, I will pick other artists but I mean, c'mon! This song just hits it out of the park for me. One of the girls at church yesterday just killed it. Did an absolutely marvelous job with it. Todd asked us to underline any part of the song where the words stood out, where you felt like God was speaking to you. I underlined "Still standing."

What did you underline?




Shadowfeet

By Brooke Fraser
Off the Album "Albertine"

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing, less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when i began
And i have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way

[CHORUS]

You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things
You make all things

[CHORUS 2]

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Wednesday Words Vol. 3

Been a good week here in bubville. What with Gracie's birthday, me doubling up my bankroll, and winning Stacy From Louisville's guess the post contest, it's been very exciting around here. The only downer of course was watching the Chargers get robbed in Denver on Sunday.

The message at Journey was what I needed to hear. It was about bouncing back from snags in the workplace. About how to be o.k. with your job even if it isn't the most glamorous or exciting job in the world. It was about how God has a plan for you in whatever work it is that you do. God wants to reveal himself as a provider to us.

I don't have the most glamorous or highly sought after position in the job market. I'm an overnight associate at one of the largest employers in the world. I don't want to type it's name because they are pretty tough about their employees talking outside of the walls but it rhymes with "Fall-fart." I'll give you three guesses.

Compared to what I used to do, working at fall*fart is like jumping off of a cliff. Financially AND glamor wise. I used to run a company that had 40 people under me. Now I have, oh let's see, me.

Why, you ask? What would make me leave what I had been successfully doing for 15 years? There's only one answer. The Lord came and messed up my life. I couldn't do the things that I used to do to make money. I was a salesman. At one time one of the best in my little industry. Check it out. This is important. God took away my hustle. I couldn't do it anymore. It became pointless to me. Before, I was a stone cold closer. Now, I can't close a door.

I think the reason it happened is because God truly wants something better for me. The people that I worked with and associated with for the last 15 years are a tough bunch. Maybe the best description of them would be hard-livin' folk. I believe that God wanted to take me out of that life and deliver me to a new one. Even now, it's hard for me to put into words what my life was like, especially the last 5 or 6 years of it. How about it was a really tough way to make an easy living.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do my job anymore. I didn't even WANT to do it anymore. I don't know if it was burnout or God moving me to do something different. I'd like to think it was God. I had to find a way to make an honest living. I swallowed my pride and gulp! applied at Haul*kart. I will tell you this. The day that they hired me it was like a black cloud had been lifted from my head. I felt free. Sometimes God knows what He's doing even when I don't.

It hasn't been easy. I don't make a lot of money. It's tough, physical work. I've already broken my hand once out of my own stupidity. Here's the thing though. I love it.

Why? Because it gives me the opportunity to be an example of how I believe God wants us to live life. For the first time in my life, I go to work knowing that God is right there at my side. To truly not just say the words "The Lord will provide" but to believe and live them. To work hard and be the best employee I can be even when no one is looking. It's harder than it sounds. I think that's the deal me and God have though.

Would I like to do something different eventually? Probably. God hasn't taken me there yet so I guess there's still more work to do at doll*part. Here's another cool thing. I see me rubbing off on other people. Of course, I can't quantify it, but I think the people I work with seem to smile more, are friendlier and work harder around me. That's like seeing God in action, it's wild stuff!

God, thank you for the opportunity to be a difference wherever I'm at. Thank you for taking me out of the mental and spiritual bondage that I was in and delivering me into a completely different world. Let me continue to be a light to those around me and to keep bringing glory to Your Name. Amen.

Starving Jesus

This is so rare as to be unprecedented I think! Two posts in one day. Here's the deal. I'm playing in a poker tournament on the internet, reading blogs when I stumble into Holy herectoclite's blog. I don't even know if I spelled that right but it's close. Anyway, there is this video on there about two young preachers from http://www.xxxchurch.com/ that go on a 40 day fast and a 40 day tour of the country. It's an amazing thing to watch and also for a good cause. If you have an hour (I know, almost impossible anymore) check it out. I am so glad that I did. Maybe the best video I've seen on the 'net. Here it is and I believe the website is http://www.starvingjesus.com/.





p.s. I won the tournament!!! See what a great video it was!

Alright, I can't make the google link work. If you REALLY want to check this out, type in "google starving jesus" and you will see the video link on there. I suck. Thanks.

Happy Birthday Grace!

Today is my youngest daughter Grace's birthday. She turned the big 9 today. Time sure flies. I guess that's pretty cliche thing to say when it's your kid's birthday. So maybe a few words about this child are in order.

She's my fourth and last daughter. Her mom and I met at work back in 1996. I had just been going through the breakup of my second marriage when I met her. We didn't actually date until about a year after that. One of the other girls in the office set us up. Michelle's one of the coolest chicks I have known, always willing to help people to the point of hurting herself and she has a great personality, very funny. We hit it off from our first date which involved entirely too much drinking. It was to be a harbinger of our relationship.

Michelle and I were both partying hard when we were together. When I say party I mean doing hard drugs and drinking like fish. With this lifestyle included all the other things that go hand and hand with this. The people, the places, and the things that go into the life of drug addicts. The only thing that kept us really reigned in was her daughter Nat. I don't know what would became of us if she hadn't been there keeping us somewhat grounded.

With the drugs and drinking started coming the fighting. Whether it was over money, or just one or the other's hallucinations about what was happening things started to break down between us. We had been living together and I left a couple times to get out of the situation but would always cave in and go back. It was becoming a vicious cycle. We lived like this for about 2 years. We also worked together which only aggravated the situation. We were together 24/7.

Around the end of '98 I started to clean up again. I could see that my life was falling apart and I was heading to the end of the road pretty fast. I moved out of Michelle's for the last time and moved in with a friend from the program. Michelle and I saw each other at work and continued to sleep together. Then one day she came up to me and told me she was pregnant. She said that she was going to have an abortion. It would have been her second abortion of one of our children. Please forgive me Lord, I didn't tell her not to have one. I didn't encourage it but I didn't say no. I was more concerned with my own life at the time than having a fourth kid with a third woman. To me, it felt like my life was REALLY being ruined. She told me she was having an abortion and we left it at that.

The next day she called and said that she had talked to her sister. Her sister convinced her to have the baby. Thank you God for your miracles, even if we don't see them at the time. We decided to give our relationship one last shot. That failed miserably. There had been too much pain and hurt on both sides.

The day we broke up it was simply "Look bub, I know you are clean and I don't want to bring you down. You need to be with your friends in NA. I don't want to be with you anymore." I just nodded and left. My heart was broken. Another failed relationship and this one with a baby on the way. I might have only been about a month or so clean at the time. The next year would end up being as rough a time in my life clean as I have ever had. I had to deal with the idiots at work giving me a hard time about why my pregnant girlfriend would break up with me. That's a pretty good shot to a guy's ego. That and trying to stay clean plus having to look at her every day like nothing was out of the ordinary. Thank God I only lost it a couple of times that year. Oh, and I never picked up either. Thanks NA friends!

It was a weird pregnancy for me because I wasn't involved at all with the process. Not doctor's appointments, not picking things out for the baby, just being told things in a cool professional business manner. Like her name. Grace. As much as I love her name today, when I first heard it I was like ugh! Grace. Gracie. Gangstah Gracie. It soundel like a hispanic hyna's name. It was just one more thing that I had to accept.

Grace was born on September 16th, 1999. It was a c-section. I wasn't part of all that. I sat in the waiting room like anyone else. I finally saw my little girl when they brought her to the window for me to see her. I got to hold her and whispered in her ear how much I loved her and how I would always be there for her even if I wasn't with her. Believe me, it was hard knowing that I wasn't going to be an everyday part of her life right from the very start. This is one of those times I think when God was really carrying me even when I didn't know it. How I made it through the next year working with her and dealing with other people seeing my daughter more than me and people partying with Michelle I don't know. It took everything I had to rise above my angerness and bitterness.

I finally quit the company that we worked at together which made things a little bit better. I was busy starting a new business which kept me focused on work and not much else. I'd get Grace every once in awhile the first year. She was just an infant and Michelle didn't want her to be gone for too long. Which I understood. I've never been one to start problems with the mother's of my children. I always figured whatever problems I started with them would just trickle down to my kids. I was really involved in NA at the time and was doing pretty well with work and with life. I even started up 66ohm at this time. I didn't realize this at the time but I was trying to keep myself busy 24/7 so that I wouldn't have time to think about what had just happened. It worked for awhile.

Unfortunately, I picked up again around 2003. The band was going full steam and I was in bars more than I was in NA meetings. I started drinking. Then I ran into my son's mom. Which is a story for another time and place. It's when I re-discovered drugs and fell back into the abyss. I saw Grace less and less frequently. I didn't want her to see me all strung out. I don't even know if I would have had the patience. Michelle wasn't doing much better, but she did the best she could. She was sinking deeper into her disease as well.

I got clean again in 2005. I reconnected with Grace and started getting her more frequently. Then I fell out of contact with them. Michelle was really struggling. I didn't have any way to pick up Grace and Michelle rarely called me back to see if she could bring her over. Then almost a year ago, I called Michelle and she sounded different. She told me she was going to NA and had been clean a week or two. I'll tell you this, Michelle getting clean is one of the biggest miracles I have seen God perform. If I was a betting man (OK, I am a betting man) my money wouldn't have been on the "Michelle gets clean in NA" line. Sadly, I would have chosen the ends up in an institution or dead line. That's just the way it was.

Almost a year later she's still clean. We get along great. Grace comes to church with Letty and I every week and digs it. God has truly worked a miracle in Grace's life. Both her parents clean. Who would have thunk it?

As for Grace, let me tell you a little about her. She has a servant's heart. When I take her to the sunday school program she immediately goes to work. When I come to pick her up she's always working the little redemption store they have in class. She is absolutely sweet and funny. Almost too earnest for a kid that's seen so much. You would think she would have a little more edge to her with parents like us. She doesn't. Her name says it all. Grace. She's full of it. I don't think anything makes me happier than just hanging out with her. I'm at peace.

Holy cow, what a long post. Grace, you are worth it. You always have been worth it. Through everything we've been through my beautiful little daughter I have loved you and only wanted what's best for you. I'm so grateful that God has mended your mom and me so that we can be good parents to you. Well, at least better parents. My heart breaks everytime you leave to go home sweetie. The only hope is that I get to see you the next week. I hope that you have a great birthday honey. I love you!

Song Of The Week #2

Today's song is Set the World on Fire by Britt Nicole. I just love the vocals and guitar on it. I think the lyrics are so full of hope and of the power that God puts in us to change the world. You hear Britt sing this song you WANT to go set the world on fire and believe that you CAN do it. The version of the song I picked is awesome. It's just her and a dude playing acoustic guitar in a Christian radio studio. This girl's no joke. She's got some pipes. Enjoy!




"Set The World On Fire"

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

[CHORUS]

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands

[CHORUS]

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire

I'm not sure if she wrote the lyrics or not. I will have to check that out. Either way, good song and good artist. Although I haven't really dug anything else I have heard by her.

Wednesday Words vol. 2

A whole lot of nothing going on here. Doing a lot of reading, playing some online poker, sleeping and working. I'm thinking about picking up my guitar and start playing for at least a half an hour a day. I want to get back to performance level again. You have to start somewhere.

God and I are doing splendidly. I've been reading his book and man, can He tell a story. I'm in the beginning of Exodus, as a matter of fact I'm at the point where Pharaoh and his army have just gone for a swim in the Red Sea. AS if that scene isn't the setup for every Tom & Jerry and Roadrunner episode I have ever seen. mee-meep!

At Journey we have started a new series called The Other Joseph. I'm enjoying it since I just got out of the end of Genesis a couple of weeks ago. I'm not talking about Invisible Touch, I mean the first chapter of The Bible. Joseph's story is about a guy who keeps really taking some tough shots early in life but doesn't leave him embittered. I would think that it would be easy to let the situations and circumstances of our lives swallow us up. Joseph wouldn't allow this to happen to him. He knew that God had a plan for him and stayed the course.

I'd love to play some live poker sometime in the next couple of months. We have just been broke as heck and I can't be off playing poker for real money. God's taking care of us though. It's amazing what can happen when I put my trust in Him. I am playing online for pennies and at least it keeps me busy. My tournament action has been atrocious but I've been doing well in the cash games. I think I need to dial back my aggression in tournaments a little. My middle tournament play is really something to be desired. I need to tighten up a bit.

Kids are all in school now. Faith and Precious are in Kindergarten. Grace is in 4th. Beckah is in 7th and Kassie started high school. Rachel is working full time over at Long's and is doing a great job raising my little grandson Jeremiah. It's always nice when all the kids are doing well.

OK, I probably could look this up on the Internets, but here's my question.

What's God's deal with unleavened bread?

Song of the week

I usually pick a new song for my myspace page every week. A song that's touched me. I'm thinking that maybe I will do that on here as well. I love how music touches me so deeply. Even before I was saved it was like that for me. Here's the one that's been calling to me at Journey lately. I had to look up who the artist was. Hillsong. Imagine that. Those cats can flat out write a worship song can't they? I'm not so enamored of their prosperity type ministry but I love their songs. If I had a top 10 I think they would have every slot except for a couple of Chris Tomlin and David Crowder tunes up in the mix. Anyway, without further ado, the song of the week:

You'll Come



Lyrics by Brooke Fraser

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You Lord

My rock and Redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your word endures

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us

Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

What are some of your favorite worship songs?

Wednesday Words

I'm thinking it would be a good idea at least to check in here every Wednesday no matter what. Let y'all (and me later) know what's happening with me. Even when there's not a lot going on.

Letty and I aren't getting baptized on Sunday. I couldn't get the time off from work and I want it to be a celebration and not something where I'm nodding off before and after the baptism. I think the next opportunity will be in June. It's like my sister said when I told her, "Hey, you're still saved!" Amen to that Shelly!!!

As you can see by my poker bankroll, I am DOMINATING the .02/.04 tables on Pokerstars. I've increased my bankroll by 60% in the last week. That's right, I'm up to over $8.00 in cold, hard cash! What am I going to do with all that money? I think I can afford a value meal somewhere. I could also put 2 gallons of gas in Betsy. That was my Dad's name for her.

We lost an employee at work on Friday. I guy named Jim who had been working at my store for the last 15 years. He was the longest tenured guy on my shift. One of those guys that was kind of grouchy but had a good heart. I'm thinking he was in his 60's. He was from Ohio. He loved the Buckeyes, Browns, and Indians. He was diagnosed with throat cancer about 5 weeks before he passed. I know that he was a Christian, on his vacation he would go over to his church and work there for the week. Like I said a good dude. His funeral is on the 20th. I'll have to go and pay my respects. I miss having him around.

Home life has been good. Letty and I are talking more about things before they come to a head. I think that we both have crossed a bridge as far as our relationship goes. It feels good to know that someone has your back and that you have theirs. I think what I'm trying to say is that there is a deeper level of commitment than we had before. She sees that I'm doing good things and with a servant's heart. I will say that the hardest place in the world to be like that is my own home. Isn't that sad? I'm definitely making the effort that I wasn't making before in the household.

Some more good news this week is that the NFL is starting this weekend. Go Chargers!!!! If we can stay healthy this could be our year. Of course, we have been saying that the last couple of years. We were close, but The Patriots were just too much for us.

OK, I've learned a little trick from my other fellow bloggers. Ask a question at the end of your blog. I love it! Here goes...

Who's your favorite NFL team and why?