Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Shutting It Down

This is going to be the last post on God, me and poker. It's been a great run. The thing is, my path is pulling me further and further away from what this was. I can't reconcile these two parts of my life anymore. Poker (or at least the pursuit of money or fame) is meaning less and less in my life these days. It's hard to write about what's going on with me anymore in this vehicle.

I really think if anything this was a transitory blog. One that got me over the hump from being a using addict to establishing a relationship with God to that becoming something so much bigger. I just feel like hanging out here, while it's kind of a cute name and what not is really not what I'M about anymore or want to be about.

I want to be a true follower of Jesus. I want to be able to pick up my cross and follow Him. I want to give everything away to the poor. I want to live the life of a humble servant of Him. I think that He loves me no matter what. The problem is that I don't feel that I am showing Him enough love and respect.

This venue makes it easy for me to fall back into the "Well, I'm a new Christ follower and whatnot so you have to give me a break." It's not like that anymore. I was baptized and made a public declaration that I'm living my life for Him. I don't want to be constantly using the excuse that I'm at most a casual fan of Jesus.

With all that said look for a new blog from me. One that is more where I'm going than where I've been. Thanks for everyone that has been kind and gracious enough to read my ramblings on here. God bless you for all the wonderful comments. I really feel that I have made some true friends with this.

I think that now is the time to kick it up a notch. I think that's what Christ wants from me. I think that's what I owe him. To really serve him with my actions and not just easy words that fall off my lips. I'm praying that God makes me an instrument of his to sow goodness into this world. At least my little part of it.

Jesus, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to live a different life from the one that I was heading. Please use me to further Your work on this earth. Help me to keep falling in love with Your Word. Let me be Your hands, Your eyes, Your mouth. Allow me to be an example of what's right in this world and not what's wrong. I know You know that I am far from perfect. Let my imperfections show to other's how we can live a life of Grace, Lord. Please bless all the people that have stopped through here and I hope that they at least saw a small reflection of You in me. Amen.