Home Alone! (Kinda)

My poker playing as of late has sucked. I've lost 80% of my bankroll in the last week. Pretty soon I'm sure that I will be felted. Oh well. I'm giving it the good fight. I have been playing a lot of no limit lately and been getting my money in with the better hands but keep getting sucked out on. Sigh. That's part of the game I guess.

In life news we had a full house this weekend. Letty's parents and one of her brothers came down for labor day weekend. Plus Letty's granddaughter was here for most of the weekend. This means little sleep for me as the parents get our room and I get one of the kid's beds to try and sleep in during the day with everyone running around crazy. Missed church on Friday, I was too tired to get rolling. I'm a little grumpy the last few days. I've been real short with Letty which isn't my normal self. So many things going on around here that I think we have both been a little stressed out.

The in-laws went home Monday afternoon. Tuesday Letty, her oldest daughter, the kids, and her sister were supposed to go to L.A. Koshe(oldest daughter) is taking her cosmetology state license exam this week. She thought on Wednesday, but it was actually Thursday which threw everyone off. Letty's sister who was to be Koshe's model had to take an extra day off. She wasn't happy. So they had a false start. They left again this morning and won't be back until tomorrow evening. Tio Roberto is still here but he is so quiet, just napping in the living room watching T.V.

It's so quiet in here. A rarity. I look forward to it then when I'm alone I miss them. The whole loud, Spanish speaking, children screaming lot of them.

Didn't make it to my meeting last night either. I fell asleep at 5pm and didn't wake up until 2 in the morning. One of the hazards of working overnights. Sometimes I get home and can't fall asleep until the afternoon. I missed my meeting and the padres getting clobbered by the D-backs. OK, I think it's my time to nap. I will set my alarm so I can see my padres take the rubber game of the series.

Elaborate

I got tagged by Carmen so here goes:



THE RULES: Elaborate on the words below.



Accent – A seasoning that my mom used to throw on everything we ate when we were kids.



I Don't Drink – Alcohol. For 2 and 1/2 long, bitter years. LOL. Just kidding. About the long and bitter part.



Chore I Hate – Emptying the bailer at work. It's just a pain in the ass and cuts deep into my time. I am sneaky and wait to bring my cardboard back when I know it has been recently emptied. Also car washing. Though I'm getting better at it.



Pets – German Shepards. Those were our pets when we were kids. I loved them. I still do, just not enough room for them in my apartment. My new love (that I do want) is a chihuahua. My girl's parents have one named Paloma that after I got to know her is just an awesome little snuggle buddy.



Essential Electronic – Hmmm, one that I couldn't live without? Probably the computer. I love to learn about different people and cultures so it's great for that. I would be naked without my cell phone though.



Gold or silver – Gold is 1st place baby!



Insomnia – A really wrenching movie with Al Pacino. Get some sleep! Oh, I work graveyard so this is a little insomnia inspiring.



Job Title – Senior Account Executive. That was my fancy schmancy title for 15 years. It translates in to human as Sales guy.



Most Admired Trait – I think my sense of humor. I can be pretty funny once you get to know me. Also my coolness under pressure. Oh, and I can type 60 wpm. That's pretty awesome.



Kids- No more Please! I already have Rachel, Kassie, Bekah, Grace, and James Landon. Plus my beautiful grandson Jeremiah!



Religion – Open minded christian. Baseball and football also. Go Pads and Chargers! Oh, and go Jesus too! LOL



Siblings – One beautiful sister that is 18 months apart from me. Loves me through all of my bullshit in my younger days.



Time I wake up – Work days between 3 and 5pm. Days off I am an early riser about 6 am. I don't want to miss anything!



Unusual talent/skill – I remember everything someone does or says.



Worst habit – Hmmmm, nowadays? Probably the internet.



X-rays – I always wanted a pair of those x-ray glasses that they used to advertise in comic books when I was a kid. What a pervert, huh?



My favorite meal – Wow, this is a tough one. I'm not very fancy. I LOVE Filippi's Pizza in Little Italy here in San Diego. With an antipasta salad. Hold the wine, just a coke please. Also prime rib. Anywhere. Las Vegas on the cheap especially.



There you have it. I don't know who else to tag since I don't have any regular readers. How about 4dbirds since Carmen already got jusdealem.

A tourney cash!

OK, it's not a big score, but it is how I spent my afternoon. I have hit double digits with my poker stars account, which when you consider that I had it down to less than $1 is a big deal in my little poker world. I just keep trying to build it up a little at a time.

PokerStars Tournament #59096672, Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $1.50/$0.15
423 players
Total Prize Pool: $634.50 Tournament started - 2007/08/30 - 15:00:00(ET)

Dear bub66ohm,

You finished the tournament in 14th place.A $5.40 award has been credited to your Real Money account.You earned 68.33 tournament leader points in this tournament.For information about our tournament leader board, see our web site athttp://www.pokerstars.com/tlb_tournament_rankings.html

Random Thoughts

I have never looked so forward to going back to work after my days off as I am today. I have spent the last couple of days (except for a couple hours at my NA meeting) cooped up in my bedroom reading blogs and playing online poker. I even fell asleep during the Padre game before we got the winning runs in the bottom of the 8th. Letty woke me up to tell me. I'm bored. If I was in a meeting I'm sure someone would point out to me that's because I'm boring. Maybe. Can't wait to get my bills caught up so I can have some old fashioned fun again. I am such a whiner.

One of the things I have been trying to do is to find some interesting christian blogs to read. Verily, I tell you, they do not seem to exist. I read over 40 of them yesterday trying to find just one funny, entertaining blog. I got a lot of conservative christian blogs. No offense, but that's not my cup of tea. I don't hate gays, drug addicts, alcoholics, or degenerate gamblers. I'm not real fond of pedophiles. I guess that's my big dislike. A lot of them seem to have this "us" against "them" attitude. Maybe it's a "holier than thou" thing. I think maybe it's because the ones that I have been reading have been Christians all their lives and I don't relate. Then there are the "bible study" or "theological" blogs which is like reading quantum physics. Snoooooooze.

I want to read about struggle. I want to read about how people apply their faith in real life situations when everything isn't going their way. I want to read about how people overcome their addictions and fall back but still persevere. I get more of that in the poker blogs that I read than the christian ones. People doubting their poker playing abilities but persevering through it till the next big pot.

I don't know about anyone else. I struggle with all of this. I know, I'm too much of a thinker. An analyzer. I've never been able to go "Oh, that's just the way it is." Some days my faith is great and sometimes it's not so great. I've been going to self help groups for 22 years. I should know that I shouldn't judge my insides on other people's outsides. Yet I do it again and again. Human nature I guess.

I'm thinking about looking for some recovery blogs today. Maybe I will find some hope over there with the rest of the dope fiends. Thank God for the poker people. They keep it interesting around here.

Never Drink Coffee after 8:00pm

Unless you want to be blogging at 11:17pm on a Tuesday night. Sigh. I went to my home group meeting which was good, I hadn't been there in a couple of weeks. It's strange now that Ron isn't going anymore. He used to pick me up and we would go together. He's changed up his regular meeting to Fridays so I am left having to make myself go. It shouldn't be that difficult and normally it's not. I just didn't want to go for a couple of weeks I guess. The bad thing about it is I have a tendency to isolate and if I didn't drag my ass down there tonight I might not go for a couple of months. But I did and it was good and I feel somewhat back in the fold, although not nearly as much as I used to.

I've been playing pretty decently online and had actually moved up a level only to get crushed. Back down I go again. I don't mind. As long as I have my little mini bankroll to play with I seem to be OK. I'm accepting my poker lot in life right now while I pay off the bills.

I have been following my Padres, getting back into the habit of watching every game. And whala, my magic is back. Before I started watching, 5 games back of the d-backs. Today, only a game behind after we chased their stud Brandon Webb off the mound in the 6th. They have been playing some exciting games the last week, it's been fun to get back into it. This is kind of a golden era in San Diego sports. If we could only get the Aztecs to do something. The Chargers and Padres are becoming perennial playoff contenders which of you know anything about San Diego team sports is an anomaly. We are so used to being cellar dwellers that we don't even know how to talk shit properly. It's not fair to have suffered this many years without a championship. Maybe the Chargers this year. I can only hope.

payday

Normally, this is my favorite day of the month. Or 2 days. Or some months 3. I get my check and rush off to play a little poker at the Lucky Lady. I don't get to play live table action much because of my work schedule and Thursdays are perfect. I've slept all night and don't have to work until 11pm. Letty is in school and I have until about 5pm to play. Not that I play for 8 hours or anything. But I could if I wanted to. You know what I mean?

I had to take a quick responsibility check here recently. I've owed this one cat some money for a long time and I need to pay him back. It's been affecting my relationship with the fellowship I belong to which he is also a member. I'm not going to places to avoid running into him or anyone that knows that I owe him this money. That affects my relationship with God and my fellow man. Puts distance between us. I can't afford that.

Why don't I pay him? Good question. Probably because I'm a selfish, self centered, fearful jackass. I've got issues when it comes to being broke. It's not even that paying him back will make me broke. Just the possibility that I could not have money in case something happens freaks me out. Especially when Letty and I aren't getting along. The idea of being homeless with no money (which wouldn't happen because I have great friends and my pops) puts me into instant miserly survivor mode. I could probably use some therapy when it comes to that. It's just that I HAVE lived like that (homeless and broke) and never, ever want to be there again. No matter what the cost or who I screw over. Sounds awful, huh?

I paid him back about half of what I owe him today. We aren't on speaking terms so I just left it under the mat and texted him that it was there. Hopefully he will text me back that he got it. I did feel better after I left his house. It's one of those things. The only way that I can get right with God is to get right with my fellow man. I took a step towards that today. Yay for me.

In two weeks I'll have him paid off and can maybe get out of this little self imposed spiritual rut that I have been in. It's been a longtime coming.

Latest tournament finish

PokerStars Tournament #56816063,
No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: 10 FPP
3736 players
$250.00 added to the prize pool by PokerStars.com
Total Prize Pool: $250.00

Tournament started - 2007/08/21 - 12:40:00 (ET)

Dear bub66ohm,You finished the tournament in 63rd place.A $0.38 award has been credited to your Real Money account.Congratulations!Thank you for participating.

I am on my way!!!!!